I’m adapting this week. We’ve moved house so I’m adapting to my new environment.  I’m riding the emotional roller coaster that moving home brings. Feelings of insecurity, doubt, fear and nervousness have surfaced. At some level, these feel like old ghosts of previous (childhood) moves, making their presence felt. Noticing my feelings and accepting them helps me to adapt. The word adaptability comes from Latin. ‘Ad’ means towards and ‘aptare’ means ‘to fit’. So adapting is ‘moving towards’ and ‘fitting in’ with new, changing or different environments. Whilst physically we are moving home, emotionally, we are moving to the next stage of our lives. This change is helping us to do that.

Adaptability is not one thing. It’s a combination of our inner resources – cognitive, emotional and social, that we can access. Drawing upon our inner resources helps us navigate change. They help us stay the course and manage ourselves with a sense of personal agency.  So, what are these inner resources?

The first resource that comes to mind is grit. Angela Duckworth highlighted the importance of passion and perseverance and being able to ‘stay the course’ as prerequisites for achieving important goals. Grit, she argues, provides the stamina to stay on course and move constructively towards our goals in changing times. There were moments during the run-up to the house move, when I was hesitant and questioning our decision.

‘Are we doing the right thing? Why would we leave our current house, it’s lovely?’

Part of me was aware that until we signed the contract, nothing was set in stone. There was some comfort in knowing that we had the option to change our minds. And also, there was our bigger goal. Our step toward the next stage in life. Our sons have left home and leading their own lives. Our house felt too big for two people. As my grit faltered, my husband reminded me of our shared dreams and plans for the future.

Others, such as Richard Boyatzis, put emotional intelligence at the heart of adaptability, particularly our ability to manage ourselves and our mental flexibility. Mental flexibility includes being able to embrace competing demands and problems. Mental flexibility enables us to see tensions and trade-offs in the decisions we face as opportunities that allow innovative ways to learn and adapt.  This meant focusing on the positive aspects of the new house whilst tackling the things that weren’t working. Not enough storage space, get online and research options. Is furniture not working in the space? Find a new home for it. Areas feel dull – brighten them up.

Mindset and attitude play a big part in our ability to adapt. Believing that change will result in positive outcomes has helped. Part of mindset is meta-cognition. This is the ability to be aware of our own thinking. When we can think about our thinking we can recognise how our thinking moves us forward or holds us back. We can reflect on past events and remind ourselves of changes that we’ve overcome in the past. Looking back at times when change has led to better outcomes, reminds me that change is good and encourages me to keep moving towards my goals. Mindset plays a powerful role in shaping the future. Carole Dweck’s research on growth mindset shows that focusing on positive change helps adjust to stressful life events. Dweck also reminds us that in challenge there is growth and growth is a value close to my heart.

A couple of other qualities in my adaptability toolkit are resilience and ‘not knowing’.  Resilience is our ability to recover quickly and bounce back from difficulties. We all have resilience within us. When resilience is paired with an attitude of not knowing, it helps us experiment and give new things a go. If our experiments fail, we learn from them. In the spirit of experimenting, failure is okay. If we decide that we don’t like our new home, we can move. It will cost us money and energy, and if that happens, we’ll learn from the things we didn’t like and not make the same mistake next time.   And last, but not least, I have two lists. A ‘to-do’ list and a ‘to-be’ list. The ‘to-do’ list has a long list of tasks, things to do, people to call, emails to send, things to buy, and things to put out. The ‘to-be’ list helps to remind me of how I want to be during this time of change. It’s my self-management list.  Be calm. Be focussed. Be resourceful. Be happy. Be purposeful. Be grateful.