The Jungian Analyst, James Hollis recommends that when faced with a life choice, we should ask ourselves the question, ‘Will this enlarge or diminish me?’ I love this question. It’s a great frame that can lead us to seek a growing edge. A timeless symbol of growth and expansion is a nautilus shell. When we find ourselves stuck and not growing, we can look to this symbol and be reminded that in deep water, even the smallest creature knows how to grow and does so in an exquisite way.
We can learn a lot from how nature grows. Whether it’s the changing seasons, how plants grow or how sea creatures grow. Last Spring, I noticed how Tulips grow. Tulip leaves unfurl and tulip petals unfold in their own rhythm. We can’t stop leaves from falling off the trees in Autumn. Nature lets go. When I think back to when my sons were babies their growth was similar. I couldn’t force their first tooth, their first word, their first step. I read many child development books and tracked their developmental progress. But their teeth, bones, muscles and neural connections grew organically. They stumbled when they walked. I had to let them go so that they could grow. They grew in their own time and in their own way. And still do.
The nautilus shell’s mesmerising spiral structure shows us a beautiful way to grow. When the nautilus senses that it is outgrowing its space, it grows another chamber, continually creating a growing edge for itself. Like humans, the nautilus shell’s growth is influenced by genetics and environmental factors. Life begins as a tiny, translucent tube. As the nautilus matures, it embarks on a lifelong journey of growth, building its iconic, perfectly proportioned spiral chambers. Each new chamber added to the shell is larger than the previous one. If you’re interested in the science, the nautilus secretes a mixture of calcium carbonate and proteins, which hardens into a rigid yet lightweight material. Curiously, the chambers that are constructed are in a precise mathematical relationship. The nautilus acts like a bricklayer, laying the bricks of its next path with precision, elegance and beauty.
For me, the process of learning is very similar. Our hearts know when we outgrow. We can identify ways in which we want to grow and prepare the way by making space to enrich our lives and expand our world. We might now know exactly how our growth journey will unfold, but we can lay that first brick in preparation for taking the next step. And, like the tulip, we can let things unfold.
Learning is our friend. Through learning, we begin to form our next chamber. We learn to live with instability as we move out of our comfort zone and towards uncertainty. Towards the growing edge of our next thing – the thing that doesn’t diminish us.
